Motherhood is not a word, it is not a change, it’s another world. Words are one thing, the experience is another. While mom-shaming, blaming games is full-on and you are always tired and you listen to cheap things like, why will a mother need some time alone from her kid. I think, at some point, you need to make your rules in your life.
In this era, the story of every house is the same. An educated woman marries off, eventually, a baby is born, either the mother is sick or is pressurized to leave her career. She feels that she is worthless and on top of that postpartum depression kicks in. Postnatal Depression (PPD) is something that is invisible to our mothers, fathers, and in-laws. The sudden change in life could shake anyone in life but here the victim is the most vulnerable person, a new mother.
As the precious baby comes along, you can’t eat, sleep, poo, anything considered the most important work without interruption. Then comes other important things, study, work, career, and interruption becomes your middle name. Because you are a mother you will get a lecture saying “didn’t we grew babies, are you the first one to raise a child”, from people, strangers, family members, and even your mother. You see because you are a ‘mother’ you are a target of mom-shaming, body-shaming, and whatnot.
I know I am not the only one here. The society, culture, and environment especially in Asia are high with this. Will you drown into this toxic sea, or will you rise up to be even stronger? The choice is yours. It will take days, a year or two to deal with the interruption and surrounding.
Being a woman, it’s not a burden on us that we look after the kitchen, the baby, the husband; the ‘everything’ and then we work. Either we struggle in office or deal with the ‘interruption’ and work from home. This is what makes us unique. We can do multi-tasking with ease and be cool about it. We can change the diaper and edit the logo for the American client in freelancer.com.
And then the basic question comes, how do we survive?
- Try to find a way out of your problem based on your situation. Each problem is unique and so is the solution. If you are having ppt then go out every two days somehow managing your home and kid. If you feel you have no skills, try to follow the trail of the specific task you are good at and improve that skill.
- Take one day at a time. As you wake up quickly think of something to make the day productive. It can be as simple as baking a cake or creating a banner for your Facebook page.
- Do something, anything. Never sit idle and as the old phrase says don’t be a devil’s workshop, no matter how small the task might seem, just don’t pass your time. Even if you are not good at a thing, at least try it. You have nothing to lose. Draw an ugly picture. See a travel documentary if that’s what you dream of.
- Search online for a job. It can be as small as a typewriter but always look for it. Look for an online free course or join an event that interests you. Utilizing Facebook the correct way will not make you an addict.
- Let not depression take over. If I talk about depression here, it will become another topic. Depression is not only a mental state but it affects us physically. Be logical: eat a banana and stay put under the sun because these two will help you with the hormones and reduce depression. At least minimally.
- Although this should be the first one: eat healthily. As a mother or a human being, you need to consume healthy food and exercise every single day to suppress depression with a ‘happy hormone’ known as endorphins.
- If you feel like look for professional help and don’t back off by someone saying you are not a psycho and you don’t need a doctor.
The recent pandemic already made a pile of deaths around us. Let us be together, create social awareness, counsel mothers, and people for free if that’s what is needed. I give this responsibility and power to the woman around us, the homemakers or woman sacrificing career because I know they will love to be part of something to feel valued. And this task holds more value and anything else because you save a life. Let us make this world where not another soul will pass away due to ‘suicide’.