A closed group of people who set the norms and standards of the people and their living. Ever since the advent of this close interrelated group, we humans have been misguided with this one Fact and that is,” Boys don’t cry”. Boys can’t shed tears!
For us the definition of masculinity is limited and we have certain rights reserved and labeled certain adjectives that are the fundamental judging criteria of females and males respectively. We have mastered this art of brain feeding a youth to the fact that only girls can be emotional, sensitive, and can cry. It’s compulsory for a boy or for a man, for that matter, to look Stern, serious and unemotional!
The real issue
Why have we set certain parameters that restrict a boy from expressing his feelings or emotions? Why have we, segregated feelings emotions on the basis of gender? We all talk about the democratic country of our free modernized thoughts but when a boy, for a cause, cries over an issue be it any. You’re the first one to notice and correct them saying, “No boys don’t cry”.
Isn’t it amazing that we are at the notch of our independent existence and still we keep levying on to the old, traditional norms and methods of our society? Justifying the minutest creation born out of human emotions which is a teardrop, between feminine and masculine genders respectively.
Why?? Are boys not humans? Has God ever differentiated between the tears of a boy or a girl? Or a boy’s tear is not worth it!
The loopholes that we are pointing on today, regarding gender biases, lies at the very beginning of our upbringing when our parents question our boys on crying. Emotions are not a subject matter of gender after all we are all Supremes’ creation. Both the boys and the girls were created with a view to spreading love, share sorrows. But because of the broadly classified norms of our society, our boys end up portraying themselves the rigid, stiff, brutal pillar and gradually turn to be one. But then, we blame the same boy when he acts insensitive. He doesn’t respect people. He chooses to be stubborn. Is adamant. And then we are very confidently judging themselves and terming such boys. If cries too much, has a feminist touch. It is emotional, is a fool. If smiles over a girl is a pervert. And the list goes endless.
The world we are witnessing
Today, in the era of the open race where all are struggling for the rights of females and in the league also sloganeering “All boys are the same!!” We need to understand that all boys are not the same! There is not any particular classification of a boy, on the basis of expressing his inner feelings.
Have you ever thought over the condition of that six-year-old boy who was always questioned on his masculinity, whenever he cried? Were you present to tell him that it’s ok if you cry? Did you then take that something very casually and nothing in a very extraordinary manner that happened! No! You didn’t. But when that same boy turned to a man and became Stern, didn’t respect your girl, didn’t understand her, didn’t value her emotions, didn’t give justice to her feelings, you termed that boy a stone heart!!
Psychology says what a child sees is what a child learns and finally reflects in his attitude and gradually becomes that way. If you will instill inside the brain of raw clay to hide his feelings, he would end up becoming that way!!!
The stereotype thought process
However, the fault is in our stereotype thought process. I mean what’s wrong if a boy cry. If he’s emotional, doesn’t mean he’s not belonging to his race. What is the need for him to hide his tears? He wouldn’t be called a timid, a coward, or a weak human! If he could communicate with emotions, why is it something that we people take as fancy or over the top? Isn’t it something that a human is supposed to do irrespective of his/her gender! Question yourself.!
We form society. Then why do we train ourselves from the very initial stage that ” Look you are a boy and you are not supposed to cry over petty things.” “Hold your tears if you fail need not show it to society.” “What will people think of you”. These are some of the extremely wrong habits that we are inculcating among Us.
The point is we should understand the meaning of emotions in a world of today’s generation where we all are selfish. There is hardly one single kind-hearted person. And if we find one, we start terming or categorizing them just because he or she is not as per our justifying norms. If today I tell you many girls too don’t cry.
Many girls are unemotional, stern, brutal, selfish. Will you believe it? It happens. People such as that exist. This not about gender but about a person being emotional. It is just a gesture. It’s something abstract that can evolve in any person irrespective of his or her gender. So dear society, in the end, I will only like to conclude that when he cried you termed him a fool. When he smiled you categorized him as a pervert, when he was stern you blamed him to be rude!
The ignorant he always kept adjusting himself to make him prove.
Sakshi Mishra | Editor