So, let’s begin with the toxicity we are facing in India since the beginning. Toxic Masculinity defined best according to me is- “Show dominance and hide emotions as much as you can”. This line is the start of toxic masculinity and it can cross the limits. I want to acknowledge you with the fact that India is so much covered in masculinity that the MALES are considered the first gender in India. You know that life is all about balance, anything in excess or, anything in scant-both is dangerous, and so is the case with masculinity. There is too much masculinity that it becomes TOXIC.
Let’s start with the things that are encrypted in the male body since the day he is born. ‘Thank god, congratulations, a baby boy is born’-a male is born is considered as if the parents have got the heaven, then comes the phase when they start to teach how to be a man. Yes, at this point I would agree to a point that not all the mistakes are of the males, but also of the stereotype parents and judgmental society in which they are brought up.
How to be a man? Wanna know?
Okay so, first of all, a man should be dominant and should not get suppressed or scared of anyone, he can drink, smoke and roam around, he can show and ask for his sexual desires, he can shout and become violent, he should not do any household chores, he can keep his point whenever he wants, he never gets judged- no matter what he does, he can show his anger recklessly whenever he wants, his all mistakes can be ignored and all the ways to live are much easy for the males than any other gender.
If they ever do wrong, they are appreciated- come on you are a man, you can make mistakes, if you don’t make them- Are you even a male? So yes, why not congratulate the human being born with the BEST label – Man. If you will remit males of so many things, what will be its effect? Well, its effect will be what it has been for a long time- an increase in crimes and suppressing everyone else to do whatever they wish to. The increased rape cases, domestic violence, molestation cases, marital rapes, drink and drive, violence after drinking, shouting recklessly. Is it easy for all of the others to bear all this? Women always keep quiet, bear, and go through the situations which men cannot even dream of.
This toxicity needs to end and everyone needs to take steps towards it. Start teaching males how to behave, what to do or not, what is the limit. Help them to understand that they also need to listen and understand others, and stop forcing things to others. Parenting should be taught to parents to stop discriminating among different genders. They are the main source through which this toxicity can end. Society needs to stop judging and start supporting. So that we can live in a life which is toxic and equal for everyone. BE THE CHANGE.
Author: Khyati Wadhwani